April 30, 2021

Caring Is Scary

Trying at something is terrifying. Caring is even scarier.

I considered myself to be a creative person when I was growing up. I wanted to be a writer more than anything in the world, in fact. That is, until my very first class in undergrad as a journalism major.

The instructor–perhaps mercifully–informed us that writing as we knew it was dead; we'd have to market ourselves and build a following online first if we wanted any hope of succeeding in this field. And I don't think he was wrong.

But at 18yrs old, I didn't believe I had ANYTHING to offer the world other than my brain. So, I instead pursued a career in which the trajectory was clear and the demand was high–where I wouldn't need to stand out if I didn’t want to.

But my life tends to drift toward the strange and ironic. I feel lucky to have found purpose and passion in every role I’ve had, and it turns out people like hearing my perspective based on these experiences. For several years now, creative people I admire have been noticing what I have to say online and voluntarily deciding they want to see more.

Last year, after being chosen for a dream job in the career I'd been pursuing for a decade–something in me changed. It was becoming evident that I could be more effective in helping people if I stepped outside the boundaries of a traditional nursing career and attempted to reach them beyond the bedside.

There are MANY nurses more skilled than me; my strength has always been my ability to understand people. So, I packed up my weird combination of skills, experiences, and self-confidence that 18-year-old me never dreamed of–to step into creative spaces that have historically intimidated the hell out of me.

I'm trying to get better at speaking confidently about what I offer rather than apologizing for being yet another person asking for your time and attention. I'm very excited about the podcast I've started (@BackstageTriage) and the work I'm doing to help the music and independent film industries get back on their feet. I really believe I can add value to these spaces if I have the chance. I am so grateful that you've been with me so far, and I hope with all my heart that you'll stay tuned.